I've just started writing about a few, quite important things, I'd like to share with you... but I stopped.
I stopped, because I remembered the fragment of a book that I read before.
If not - I'm going to indroduce you right now :)
A fragment from a conversation called "Recipe":
My
Grandson sat at the table, climbed up on the chair and began to eat, saying:
- When
I eat, I eat.
- What’re
you saying? – I asked surprised.
- That
says the grandpa next door – he said.
By
the name „grandpa” we mean our neighbor, who’s 93 years old (…).
- Grandpa
always says when he sits down at the table: „When I eat, I eat”.
I
remembered that a few times I took him a meal when he was ill, and indeed,
before he began to eat, he uttered this formula, as if it was some fairytale
charm.
-
When I eat, I eat.
Grandson
pronounced it with pleasure and ate in silence.
He
was following the way our neighbor eats.
He
also moved his hand over the mouth, pretending he’s wiping his mustache, the
way our neighbor does it.
I smiled,
seeing how much he likes the food.
And
then I thought that maybe this balance, and who knows, maybe even longevity and
a dash of our neighbor, are somehow related to this his saying. Whatever he
does, I feel that he’s really focused on what he’s doing, trying to make it as
best as possible, a big or a small thing, even such as careful chewing his food
while eating, which my grandson now so amusingly mimics.
We get
distracted so often… While doing one thing, we tend to focus on another…just to
get to the third in a moment…
Neighbor doesn’t.
He
does exactly what he undertook.
He
does it intently, carefully, without getting distracted, and then he is happy with
what he did.
When
he’s plucking the fruits while standing on a ladder, he’s plucking the fruits –
maybe that’s why, despite his age, he doesn’t wobble and, as far as I know, has
never fallen down.
When
he speaks, he thinks about what he says.
Perhaps
this is why it is so nice to talk with him and so many people seek his advice.
I, while
washing the dishes, I think that I will cook and when I cook, I think about
what I will wash...
This "focus" can
mean "to harmonize."
Because
then a man can be more satisfied with what he’s doing, without being nervous
about something that is not ready yet, do not allow the stress spoil your
satisfaction with what you do well.
-
When I eat, I eat.
-
When I get to work, I work.
-
When I rest, I rest.
My grandson
truly ”eats his dinner”.
Not
just doing an "intra-action" between two other activities.
He
eats dinner with joy.
With delight.
He’s
enjoying our dinnertime.
Again
pretending to wipe his "mustache".
So
many things we teach children unintentionally...
Unwittingly, unnoticeable,
involuntarily.
(...)
Time
does not speed up.
We
are.
Doesn’t
it happen sometimes, that we are so fast, that even our own joy cannot catch up
with us?
...It's so true, isn't it?
That's exactly why I'm not going to write today about what I had planned. Because I wouldn't focuse on it truly. Because I know now what I wanna do - an what I will do in a moment.
That's exactly why I'm not going to write today about what I had planned. Because I wouldn't focuse on it truly. Because I know now what I wanna do - an what I will do in a moment.
I want to snuggle close to my husband and daughter. I want to be able to say "When I cuddle, I cuddle" - and do this only. It used to be easier... Now, just like every other mother I suppose, I have a permanent thought race in my mind. When I'm falling asleep, I'm arranging a logistical puzzle of the next day's schedule, when I wake up in the morning and stay in bed with Sophie for some time, I'm already planning how to dress her, how much time is it left till next feeding, what I need to do in the house before we go for a walk, what needs to be bought, what am I gonna make for dinner... And this simple text from a book I read by a pure coincident (yeah, I don't believe in coincidences;)), made me realize how big mistake I made. How many precious moments with my daughter passes us by, just like that?
I want to change it and focus on living (and chewing slowly too ;)).
I want to change it and focus on living (and chewing slowly too ;)).
And somehow manage to make a separate time for "When I plan, I plan" ;P
("in the zone" mode :P)
 |
| from the wall of Nieperfekcyjna Mama It's in polish, but I'm sure you get the hint :) |
And tomorrow, I hope I'll find a moment to just simply "write".
About cosmetics this time :)
About cosmetics this time :)
Sweet dreams!
PS. Luckilly Sophie doesn't know such dilemmas... When she eats, she surely eats! ;P
